I’m the type of person that never starts a conversation and then wonders why I have no friends
Leo[n]ard[o] Di Cap[oscars]rio
it took longer than it should have for me to realise that there’s no oscars in leo’s last name
there aren’t any in his hands either
oh man ok apparently this kid at our school saw a kitten before getting on the bus so he just. picked it up. and stuffed it in his hood and he had it in the hood the entire day and it just took naps and he fed it his milk during lunch and every time the cat meowed one of the other kids would like cough or sneeze or shuffle so the teacher couldnt hear it and he even let it walk around on the tables in one class and the teacher never saw it it was so precious life is amazing
i just figured out the perfect murder
kill someone and bury them in their own garden
that way if the police find them they’ll think it was a suicide
#welp looks like the victim committed suicide and promptly buried themselves in their garden #how considerate of them
I don’t get why bras are so expensive I mean I didn’t choose the boob life the boob life chose me
the one thing that has stuck with me every day since my English teacher told me it in middle school is:
"When referring to someone, always say who they are before anything else about them, because being a person always comes first"
Instead of saying “the mentally ill man,” say “the man with a mental illness”
Putting someone’s characteristics (especially negative ones) before them is dehumanizing and rude. Don’t do it.
autumn smells great because everything is dying